Free Dating at FreeAndSingle

Already a member?

Archive for the Dating Advice Category

Disaster Date

How was your Valentine’s Day?

Did your secret crush send you roses? Did the girl next door give you a wave and an invite to dinner? Or did your cards get lost in the post and your date went awry?

 

Whatever happened, if you find yourself still looking for love post the big V-day, don’t sweat it. It’s not the be all and end all, I promise.

 

Don’t believe me? Then take five minutes out of your busy schedule and cast an eye over our list of dream dates gone wrong. Have a chuckle, make some quick resolutions that nothing like that will ever happen to you and then have at it! Get combing the site for someone you fancy and send them a quick message – after all, you have nothing to lose and everything to gain!

 

I organised a date with a girl I’d had a crush on for ever. I thought it would be really romantic to post letters with the time, date and details written on them in a kind of scrapbook layout over the week beforehand. What I didn’t realise was that her ex had stalked her and on receiving the letters, which looked a little bit like newspaper-cutting ransom notes, she freaked out and called the police. Needless to say, we never got to go on our date.

 

James sounded like the ideal man on his profile – tall, handsome, sweet, generous and with a romantic streak. We messaged back and forth for weeks before finally agreeing to meet up. Once the date was set, I found myself waiting in the bar for the tall guy with the red rose in his lapel. However, he never showed up. I stormed back home to demand why he’d stood me up via message only to find a slapdash email from his girlfriend. Thank goodness we never got together!

 

I met a great guy online and was all set to meet up, but then I found out he had been on one date with my friend which had gone horribly wrong and she wanted me to cancel. I was still into him, so I decided to go ahead with the date, but my friend felt so guilty about vetoing things that she overcompensated and wanted to know all about the ‘new’ guy I was supposedly going to meet. I had to make up an entirely different person to tell her about so she wouldn’t get suspicious and then when I had a great date I felt I couldn’t tell her at all in case she realised I’d lied about the guy!

 

Couple Holding Hands

Sometimes it seems as if all those people in happy relationships are a tad envious of the singleton’s freedom.

 

Other times, it feels like being single is possibly the worst thing in the world. Conflicting, huh?

 

So, we at Free and Single have done a quick round up of the pros and cons of relationships – to enthuse you and motivate you into continuing your dating adventures to find ‘The One’, or else to make you appreciate your single-ness until fate sees fit to intervene!

 

Pros!

  • It’s cold, it’s raining and you’re snuggled up together on the sofa under a blanket, with a good movie and a cup of tea. Bliss.
  • Support on tap! Come home from a hard day, have a bit of a moan, enjoy dispensing advice, maybe get a shoulder massage…
  • Feeling frisky? Get down to business with all the love and trust you could want.
  • Want to travel? Hate walking into new places by yourself? Insta-travel companion!
  • Someone to bring you soup and blankets when you’re feeling poorly.
  • A shoulder to cry on when things go topsy turvy.
  • ‘Darling, do I look good in this?’ Answer: ‘Ravishing.’

 

Cons!

  • Being with someone means involving them in your life. They’ll worry if they don’t know where you are or if you are proving incontactable.
  • Mess/Tidiness. One of you will prefer things slightly tidier than the other. That’s life, folks.
  • When your other half goes about ordering salads or saying they aren’t hungry, only to start nicking your chips.
  • The inevitable urge to start changing them, or yourself, to fit.
  • Jealousy – nobody likes the green headed monster to emerge snarling, but sometimes you just can’t help yourself.

 

Snowy Walk

Christmas can be a tricky time. It can seem like everyone is smooching under that damn mistletoe when you’re the only one stood alone in the corner with your fourth glass of eggnog.

 

However, Christmas is over for another year and we’re now stuck in the month of payback – presents, parties and party food all take their toll!

 

This time can be used for more than weepy recriminations about that second box of chocolates you scoffed next to the Christmas tree. Instead, use the time to reinvent yourself. Forget resolutions – those are for pansies. Instead, you can make yourself into the best possible version of you, ready for a year of love, laughter and lighter thoughts.

 

Chuck the chocolate, pop on a coat and go for a walk – seriously, it’ll bring a rosy glow to your features! Get a friends to take a picture of you in the evening sunshine (super flattering) and update your profile image. You could even treat yourself to a new haircut first if you fancy.

 

Think about what to write in your profile – what needs updating, what you want to write instead. Plan it out and then set aside an hour or so to actually write it, make the changes and start benefiting from them!

 

Enjoy the new year and enjoy your dates this January!

Happy New Year!

By admin | Filed in Dating Advice, Events
New-Years-Eve-Fireworks

Here at Free and Single our mission is to help you find someone you share chemistry with to kiss when that clock strikes 12 tonight.

 

We hope we managed it this year – but fear not! 2014 is looking good!

 

Here are some dating tips to start putting into practice in 2014;

  • Smile at everyone you meet – those first few seconds determine how new people feel about you!
  • Ditch the weather as a fall-back talk topic and practice a few natty phrases that will help get the conversation rolling in those awkward silence moments.
  • Get a new year overhaul and spend some time making yourself feel fabulous, whether that involves a new hair cut, a new outfit you can rely on for spontaneous dates or some time at the gym so last minute body image issues don’t rear up to spoil your day.
  • Re-write your dating profile! If you’ve been dating through Free and Single for a little bit, don’t let your introduction get stale – keep it updated and keep your profile picture current.
In the meantime though, what are you doing inside reading this? Get out there, into the world and celebrate the turning of another year. Meet some people, smile at everyone and be open to the possibilities a new year brings.

Happy New Year!

 

 

merry-christmas

Well, it’s a tad early but I’d like to take this opportunity to wish you

A very Merry Christmas from Free and Single!

What are you up to on this fine Christmas Eve?

 

If you’re already fed up of wrestling the turkey into the shower to defrost it, why not take a time out and work on your online dating profile?

 

I find big events like Christmas and New Year really focus what it is we feel we want from our prospective partners.

 

For example, try thinking of questions you would desperately want to know the answer to on a first date and then honestly answer those questions yourself as part of your profile.

 

I’m thinking more of expanding on the classic ‘In my spare time I like to hang out with friends’ (I mean, who doesn’t?), to a bit more in depth, ‘In my spare time, I love visiting up-and-coming new restaurants with my friends and reviewing them for my foodie blog.’

 

Finding the family a bit on the annoying side this year?

Has Auntie Lucy asked one too many times when the sound of church bells are going to be a-ringing? Geesh, been there, done that, donated the t-shirt to charity.

 

Instead of the usual rolling eyes, or sullen silence, or even complaints that you would if you could, try telling her about one of your more recent dates. Even if it was no good – in fact, the worse the better!

 

Turn your dating experiences into anecdotes and you’ll distract attention away from your single status and feel better into the bargain.

 

Everyone loves to share and with any bad date karma released from your shoulders, come the New Year you’ll be ready to dive back into that dating pond.

 

I hope you have a fantastic holiday tomorrow, whatever you end up doing!

 

mistletoe-kissing

It’s the party season and bunches of mistletoe are hanging haphazardly everywhere, just waiting for kisses and good times to occur.

 

If you’re gearing up for a sophisticated wine and cheese evening, or a night out on the tiles with friends, a work office ‘do or a family set-up blind date, it can be a nightmare trying to decide what to wear.

 

To keep things simple, determine whether the occasion calls for casual, smart or formal and then follow our quick guide to looking fab this party season.

 

Ladies

 

Casual

It has to be the fabled Christmas jumper! Go as outrageous or as simple as you fancy, whether you channel the full tinsel-bedecked, sewn-in LEDs Rudolph number or an elegant berry coloured cashmere number. Style with comfy leggings, a piece of sparkly jewelry and warm flat boots.

 

Smart

Think tailoring and fun details like a peplum or trumpet hem (not together!) Whether you go with a dress or separates, stick to rich, deep colours and dress up your outfit with jewelry, shoes and a sparkly jacket. Maybe try a different parting  or small hairstyle change.

 

Formal

For this dress code, think jewel tones; floor sweeping gowns or an exquisitely cut woman’s tux. Play with fabrics that scream luxe, like velvet, satin, silk and brocade. Add jewels, beautifully blow dried hair and complementary shoes.

 

Men

 

Casual

Same as the ladies, I am all in favour of the Christmas jumper for a bit of casual cheer. Go silly with a Christmas pudding print jumper or keep it classy with a Fairisle print knit in subdued colours. Pair with comfy dark jeans and loafers.

 

Smart

Pressed suit trousers in charcoal grey or dark navy, with a matching jacket. Have fun when it comes to your shirt by playing with colour. A deep burgandy, a pattern or a cream shirt would all be a twist on the norm. Add smart shoes, cufflinks and belt.

 

Formal

I’m presuming evening formal here, so go with a tux or a dinner jacket (maybe check with some other’s to find out what they are wearing before investing). Crisp, white shirt, smart black shoes and well-cut tailoring never fail to attract attention.

 

Body Talk: Flirting 101

By admin | Filed in Dating Advice
Flirting-tips

Sometimes, things get in the way of admitting that you like someone. Maybe you’re nervous to the point of shaking, possibly you’re scared they won’t return the feelings. Sometimes the moment is never right for your big confession, other times you’re just never alone together, always surrounded by friends and unable to just talk.

 

That’s where body language and flirting come into their own as a tool to let the other person know you’re into them.

 

Here are some great tips on flirting to follow on your next date!

 

- Let your gaze wander over their face, from their eyes, to their mouth and briefly flick down over their body before returning to their eyes.

 

- If you’re ready to make your intentions abundantly clear, allow your gaze to rest on their lips every so often for a little longer than you would usually look at someone’s mouth.

 

- Talking of looking at mouths (!), a natural smile is the biggest turn-on. Let them know you like them by smiling at them frequently, so they know you are enjoying their company.

 

- You know the old adage; eyes are the window to the soul? Well, cast them communicative looks with your eyes, then glance away and smile. Keep meeting their eyes and smiling – just don’t lock stares, that’s plain creepy.

 

- Every time you move your hands, you are drawing attention to yourself and what they are doing. A finger on your lips, a subtle ruffle or twirl of your hair, brushing your forearm or collarbone – all these movements show your sensuality.

 

- Relax. If you try too hard, you’ll end up staring at their mouth, laughing hysterically and yanking your hair. If you can calm down in their presence, you’ll start to flirt naturally with little effort.

 

Have a great date and let us know how your flirting goes in the comments!

 

Brushing your hands over your hair draws attention to your face

 

smiling-woman

Ah, the one pitfall of online dating that no-one ever told you about.

The profile picture.

It’s funny how, in this day and age of internet social networks, we all fall into one of two categories;

  • Those who have a different profile picture for every social platform they inhabit to show off different sides of themselves.
  • Those who have one picture, that they took when they first joined Facebook five years ago, that they use for everything.
The thing with online dating? You’re looking for a spark, for chemistry without that all important first face-to-face interaction. I’m not saying looks are everything – far from it, I believe online dating has the edge on traditional dating just because it forces you to talk to someone without instantly judging them on their looks – however; I can’t deny attraction is a powerful part of dating.
So why, oh why, do people post such awful profile images of themselves? It isn’t rocket science! Here’s the Free and Single Guide to Profile Pictures!
Don't include all your friends in your dating profile picture

What Not To Include:

-Nudity
-Ten of your friends in the same picture – which one is you?
-Goofy cartoon borders that say ‘I’m so fun!’
-Pulling a silly face
-A selfie of your hot body in the mirror
-Your ex with a their face crossed out
-Your darling doll collection
-Your three dressed-up chihuahuas, posing on your shoulders
-No crazy backgrounds or mischievous photo bombers

I mean really; it should be obvious. Anyway, here’s what to aim for:

-Your face
-Your smile
Yup, that’s pretty much bang on for a great profile image. Stop hiding yourself behind all the crazy malarkey and go natural!
How to Take Your Profile Picture
-Either practice with a self-timer, wireless remote or harangue a good friend into helping you out.
-Put on some music that makes you feel comfortable, charming, flirty – the you that wows on first dates.
-Get outside in the evening, the natural golden light is amazingly flattering
-Find a solid, unfussy background – a lawn, the sky, a wall.
-Take loads of photos.
-Try looking down, then looking up and smiling into the camera a few times.
-Try picturing the camera as the best first date you ever saw walk into the restaurant.
-Think about something that makes you feel warm and fuzzy inside while you smile at the camera.
Once you’ve got loads of shots (and I mean loads, go crazy, mix it up, try different backgrounds and ideas),  get yourself home, load them up onto the computer and have a look.
If absolutely none of them (unlikely) are any good, either check your camera was on automatic and not blurring you out or make a date with your friend to have another go.
Don’t edit the images – no superficial nose jobs or teeth whitening. You don’t want to grab loads of people’s attention on the dating site just to wind up being rejected in person because you falsely represented yourself.
I suggest just cropping the image to show your face, hair, neck and shoulders. You should be looking into the camera and smiling.
You look fantastic! Post it to your dating profile and wait for the winks to roll in.

Are You a Fussy Dater?

By admin | Filed in Dating Advice
Date Outside your comfort zone

You know exactly who you’re looking for, so why is it so hard to find that perfect person?

 

Unlike other people, you already know what makes your perfect mate, so there is no need to waste your precious spare time dating someone who doesn’t make the cut. In short, you have defined your soul mate and you refuse to compromise. After all, you shouldn’t have to.

 

Well, I have news for you that may come as a bit of a shock – maybe make sure you’re sitting down?

 

Your finickiness about who is and isn’t right for you is destroying your chances of falling in love.

 

Yep, I said it. By being so demanding about the characteristics, careers, looks and lifestyle of your preferred partner, you are actively narrowly down the pool of candidates…and not in a good, efficient way either.

 

Yes, if you already live life to the full, you want a partner who slides into your life and fits perfectly first time around. However, that’s not love, that’s a figment of your imagination. It is possible that if you’re in that frame of mind, you’re really not ready for a relationship.

 

A relationship is about adapting your life and melding it with someone else’s. That’s why it is so hard if you break up, you have to untangle your joined lives to go your separate ways again. If you broke up and didn’t notice the difference, well, it doesn’t say much for the quality of your relationship, does it?

 

Try opening your mind to the possibilities. There is a reason why rom-coms always have the heroine end up with the annoying best friend instead of the devilishly handsome doctor who seems to good to be true.

 

I dare you, for the rest of the month, look outside your comfort zone when examining profiles with potential. Have you only ever dated Gemini’s? Go crazy, message a Taurus. Do you always date blondes? Try for a frisson of excitement with a redhead instead. Do you find yourself judging someone’s worth by their employment? Try dating someone in a different field of expertise.

You stand to be pleasantly surprised and maybe, just maybe, you’ll find yourself compatible. I’d say it’s worth it – give it a shot today!

 

dating nerves

Got a first date lined up and feeling frightened?

 

Meeting someone in person, face-to-face, for the very first time is scary. There are no two ways about it, getting together when you’ve only ever interacted via phone or email before is nerve-wracking, fear-inducing torment.

 

However, there are ways to manage the fear, to make the meeting better and, what is more, to get over the terror in seconds and just relax into enjoying your first date.

 

Give them your full attention…

 

Focus entirely on your date: this could be silently repeating their name in you head before you meet in order to ensure you don’t slip up and utter your ex’s name. You should also concentrate on what they are saying, make eye contact and try to make them feel more at ease.

 

Give them a grin!

 

Get over initial nerves by smiling. It’s welcoming for your date and it makes you feel better and more in control too. Not to mention, nothing is more attractive than a brilliant, beaming, full-on smile. Just make sure you brushed your teeth before you went out!

 

Meditate your way out of nervy situations!

 

Calm wobbly nerves, shaking hands and sweaty palms with some simple relaxation exercises. Breath in through your mouth for seven seconds, then out through your nose for seven seconds. Visualize yourself as bright, bubbly and confident before your date. Picture the scene when you meet for the first time and have a run through in your imagination to make sure you don’t stumble or say something weird.